Well now I am all grown up sorry I was in hiding after Order 66

spring fever

Well Spring time here at the Jedi Temple has hit! I for one love it... the fresh breeze, the birds, the bee's buzzing in the trees... Ha ha ha... Spring break at the Temple means time to take it slightly easy and enjoy the outdoors a little more.

Here's a typical spring day at the Temple...

7:30 am I awake, get showered and dressed.

8:15 am I head down to the cafeteria where I will have a grand selection on what to eat. Pancakes, Waffles, Cereal, Eggs and Toast... Hmm today i picked Pancakes. Very delicious in my terms.

9:00 am sharp my first class starts. It is History of the Jedi, and the Galaxy. A subject I wish I could play hooke from but I know it is needed. Class lasts 45 min, then next class starts on the Hour. All classes last 45 min and start on the hour. We get a lunch break at 12:00 PM till 12:50 pm. We have classes till 3:00pm. Then after classes we are free till the next day. Though I spend a majority of my day in classes, the lessons are light and the homework is light too. So no complaints from me.

So after classes was done, I went to the room of fountains. I like it in there. Sometimes I must say I am tempted to jump into the fountains and splash in the water... Such behaviors are considered disrespectful, but entertaining to say the least.. well to me at least. Today in particular was one of those days when fighting the temptations was very hard. I mean why have a fountain if you cant jump into it and play? I sat in that room for about 20 min then decided to head to the middle of the quad where I could get some fresh air.

Out there I saw lots of amazing things, birds, tree's, buzzing bee's, flowers, grass... I would not be able to meditate out here without the distractions... I took myself over to the viewing gates and looked out on Coruscant. I never knew that such a small planet could fit such a large population before... I mean there must be a Billion people here on Coruscant if not more... All having their own private adventures, and private lives probably not even paying any attention to this huge Jedi Temple that seemed to look out upon it like a huge castle.... and here I am living at the Jedi Temple and am still in many ways a Youngling and in many ways a Young Padawan... I mean I often wonder where everyone is heading to in their own private lives? Do they have families, if so do they eat dinner together? Many questions ran through my head. I found myself wanting to go and be with them... to enjoy their company.

I lingered there for quite a while pondering one question after another. I fell asleep while sitting there daydreaming as I often did to pass the time away. I saw in my dream a different Coruscant... a darker Coruscant... I knew it was a dream because I had dreamt this sort of thing before in the past. Oh how I wished these dark dreams would stop!

I woke up just as the Dinner chime went off... Wow it was 6:00pm and I had did absolutely nothing all day except for going to my classes. I decided to go for a walk after the dinner meal. I decided I would only walk to Dex's Diner and get me some ice cream... I had the credits and after all I was indeed 11 yrs old now. Surely I was old enough to go out side the Temple for a walk?








I ate my dinner quietly and hurried back to my room to get a few things and headed to the Temple gate. I was stopped once by Mistress ShaakTi, whom asked me where I was heading and frowned at the idea of me going out on my own. After about a 20 min debate She relented and let me go on the walk on one condition... I see trouble I immediately head back here or if it gets too dark outside. She also reminded me that the gates would be closed in 2 hrs and 10 min. So I made haste and was at Dex's diner in about 20 min. When I got there everything was cool. No problems, nothing to worry about, or so I could sense... Little did I know I had been followed by a person in a dark cloak.


TBC... See whats happening and who's following me and why next time?

They're Back!

Hello there.... As usual I woke up the next few days bored out of my mind. all I had to keeping me company was my lessons. I decided to take a brake. Something inside me told me to go down the hall and into the meditation room... And to my surprise, there she was... After all this time now sat was Master CeCe Denowai! I couldnt believe my eyes! I ran up to her and quietly sat next to her. She looked over at me and smiled.





"Hello there Belda..." CeCe Smiled.






"Master CeCe, hello there.." I still couldnt believe my eyes.





"I know your gonna ask, where I have been. I was on a mission, an unexpected mission far to dangerous for you to have gone with me." She said.






"I tried to wait Master CeCe for you to return. I was told you may not ever be comming back." I felt kinda bad because I obviously didnt wait long enough.





"It's ok Belda, the Council must have thought something close to what you had felt and..." She looked sad.




"Master CeCe, my Master Phobia she's really good. She teaches me alot of things, like how to use the Force to sheild myself." I smiled.





"Belda, is that orthodox to be learning?" She had a very concerned look on her face.






"Yes, I think it is, I think it is essentual. I sense I may need to use such a gift in the future" I said simpily.





"Belda? Really now... But yes I know who Master Phobia is. I know she will teach you very well, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here." She said with a smile.






"Yes Master CeCe." I said.




"I see you have made your first saber... tell me all about it?" Her smile was so sinsere.





For over an hour I spoke with her telling her how I made my first saber and of all the going on's around the temple. I told her about all about Catia, Marasha, and Master Godfrey. I told her of how the Phantom Evil had stoped haunting my bedside. After I had filled her in, she offered for me to join her in walking to the main hall. I accepted. When we got there I saw my Master! I ran up to her.





"My Master!" I ran, and jumped up into her arms. I couldn't believe my eyes. When I turned around Master CeCe was still behind me walking towards us smiling. This was indeed a very happy day.


I waved hello to Master Godfrey while my Master Phobia swung me around. It was fun. I cannot remember ever being so happy. I wanted this moment to last forever. But somehow I knew things were on the change and fast too.




When my Master Phobia put me down I filled her in on what I had done while she had been away. I even told her about the failed grade I got in Tacticts class 101. I was not good at planning counter attacks.






"Belda, You must study more..." Master Godfrey said.


"I tried" I said...






"Belda, trying is for the Sith, Jedi do or we do not, there is no try." Phobia responded.




I nodded yes. They were right. I needed to study harder. I may need that skill one day. I became determined to pass that class.






Master Phobia smiled because she knew I would pass that class if it was the last thing I did. "Belda, I only want you to be the best at everything you can so in later times you dont give up or give in to temptations of the dark side" Phobia said.





"Yes, my Master. I will do better from now on, I will become great Jedi like everyone else here... I will one day!" I said.




"Speaking of lessons, Belda... How is your reading and writing going?" Phobia asked.






I seemed rather embarrased, but I blurted out I got a D - in it. Master Godfrey and Phobia loooked at eachother then at me. I could see the shock and surprise in their eyes.






"Belda, a D-? I am shocked! What have you been doing, skipping class or falling asleep again?" Godfrey asked he didnt look so happy.




"I've been there in class, I just havent been able to grasp it tis all" I said.





"Belda, this isnt good... How do you expect to become a Jedi with failing grades? Not to mention it is a embarrassment... I want you to study harder or else... " Godfrey said.





I nodded yes. He was right. I needed to study harder.

"Belda it is not like you to slack off like this, what is bothering you? I know that look on your face... " She knelt down by me and looked into my eyes. I just looked down. I couldn't tell her what it was, what I was sensing was about to happen... But she was right, there was something hindering my studies... I sensed death...





"Ah it is um... well, I dont think it's important, my Master." I said.




"Belda, dont try that blocking trick with me, please tell me, what is troubling you?" Phobia asked.




Master CeCe, also knelt down near me. She had a look of determineation and concern on her face. "Belda, you Master is asking you something, do not block her out. what is wrong?"




The only responce I could give anyone was tears. I sensed something and this time I couldnt tell anyone... I couldnt tell them of what I saw in my dreams the last few weeks. Of what kept me awake and shakeing at nights. Of the destruction I was forseeing....



All three of them exchanged glances and looked at me... "Belda? It is not right to block you Master, now tell us." Godfrey said sternly.




"I can't, you would not believe me... No one would, no one will listen..." I said and began to cry. Phobia held me close to her.



"Dont cry Belda, it is ok, everything is gonna be ok, I am here Master Godfrey's here Master CeCe is here, we are all here for you Belda, everything is going to be ok. I promise you." Phoia wiped away the tears on my face. "I wish you would tell me whats wrong, but I will give you space to tell me on your own. So when you are ready, I want you to come and tell me ok?"



I sniffled and nodded yes. Eventually I would tell her... I knew it wouldnt be right holding back forever.


TBC..............

What I do for fun when all alone

Well this week at the Temple things were happening all around. With lots of the Jedi off planet or on Missions... I seemed left out as usual so I spent most of my time either in my room or in my classes. I sometimes would lurk in the dinning room and in the halls sitting in my usual spots... Yes on the steps, off to the corner, out of the way, watching everyone pass me by.... I find it fun and amusing sometimes to just watch everyone comming and going. Sometimes I'd catch a Master and their Padawan together talking. Or I'd see some of the Masters standing off to a corner just speaking to one another. Being here I sometimes felt invisible. Which was ok. I would practicing shielding myself from others sensing my presence. Something I am glad my Master Phobia has taken the time to show me how to do. It is funny to know this ability. I can sneak up on people, listen to others, or just hide. I used this cloaking talent to do the later of the three. It was not like I wanted to hide, I just felt like sometimes I needed to observe everyone else without being noticed. Today here's what I saw....



I saw Master Yoda. He was sitting down thinking Force knows what. I could tell He was in deep thought cuz he totally missed two younglings who were off in another corner making funny faces at him. I nearly broke my concentration and almost got discovered. I recon it continued for over five minutes till one of the head instructors came out and spotted them. He didnt scold them out loud He simply told them to stop that and to go into their class and await for the Instructor to come in.



I also saw Master Windu looking out one of the windows, I am guessing he likes to look out the windows too. I nearly went over to him to ask him something, but thought it best I not and that it best I just sit here.



Down the hall I saw Master Shaak Ti and Master Barriss talking. They looked like they was having a grand time. Though I still cant get the immage I saw on Master Shaak Tis face when Master Barriss said something to her. Master Shaak Ti's eyes got huge like saucers. When things like this happen I use my immagination to figure things out. Yeah one could say I was officially bored at this point.

I did this watching till around lunch time came around. I walked as usual unnoticed to the Temple Cafiteria got some food and sat at a table way off in the corner all alone. Lunch today was fish with potato sticks, vegies, and a little thing of fruit and a cup of juice.

When I finished my lunch, I went to my class of History. I didnt care all to well for History, my theory is, why should I learn about the past when todays problems are yet to be solved? Besides the Instructor was all "Bla bla" *Tee-hee* When History class ended, I darted out faster than a bolt of lightening... I had about fifteen minutes to make it to saber training class. One more late time and I'll be stuck behind in that class after lessons. I ran down the hallway and made it into class with about seven minutes to spare. I walked in and took a seat on the floor closest to the wall. Master Cinn had returned that morning and wasnt in a good mood. I stayed quiet and did as told. After class he pulled me aside to ask me...

"Belda, it isnt like you to hide as you have been doing, whats wrong?"

I geuss he must have sensed I was feeling bored and a bit lonely... I just shrugged my shoulders and said "No Sir, Master Cinn nothing is wrong, everything is um ok..."

He gave me a concerned look then noded. "You may go now"

At that I darted off to my Meditation spot. The only one I know of. I sat in my secret spot and cried silently. In reality something was wrong... I missed my Master. I feel left out, invisible, like no one would even notice if I disapeared all together. I must have been there a long time cuz I heard the Meal Tone sounding off. I got up and walked to the Temple Cafateria. About this time I was starting to wonder if I truelly belonged here? Dinner was ok, it was some kind of casarol surprise with a dinner roll and some tea to drink. As I did at lunch, I did at dinner, I ate all alone.

After dinner I decided to head off to the Archives. I loved to look at all the bright Holo's. I walked up and down every row till I came to the back of it. There were so many holo's. I finially found one I thought I'd like. I reached for it and went over to a sitting area and began to read it. It was very intresting... Madame Nu told me she wanted to close up the Archives early tonight and hepled me to check out the Holobook. I took the holo back to my room and showed it to Guardian my bear, my one true friend in the whole galaxy. After I showed him the holobook, I told him of all my adventures and happenings that had occured throughout the day.




I am so glad Guardian doesnt leave, He's a great friend...

True confessions of the Heart and Jedi Slayers

I sat there next to my Master Phobia, in the healers. I hated being there, I really did. Too many memories of big needles and pain in this place. Yeah you got that right I am afraid of shots! Being here didnt help. So I sat here next to Master Godfrey clutching his hand every now and again. I didnt want Master Windu or Master Cin to notice I was scared. I looked up and saw Master Skywalker on the Holoscreen. He looked like he was tired. Poor Master Skywalker I thought to myself. I stared at his flickering image for what seemed like forever. I felt a slight tremmor in the room, it was my Master waking up.

"Master, are you alright?" I asked.

All she did was mumble and I could not make out anything she was saying. I sat there and looked up at Master Godfrey. He looked down at me and smiled softly. I listened to what Master Windu and Master Cin was saying and thought to myself, 'A Jedi Slayer? Great, now we have a crazed lunatic possibly within our midst... Just swell, Lovely, really Lovely...'

The part that got to me was Master Cin was trying to accuse my Master of doing this or having something to do with this. How dare he! Master Godfrey must have picked up on what I was feeling and tugged sharply at my sleve and sternly looked at me as if to say 'Do it Belda, and you'll be doing some extra work for the next few months!'

I saw that look and backed down quickly. I have to admit I was not happy Master Cin had out rightly accused my Master. I looked at Master Godfrey and then back at my Master then at the floor. Master Godfrey was right, it isnt my place to challange Master Cin. It is the place of the Force itself to do so. I began to feel ashamed of even feeling this way. I mean after all it was Master Cin who came to my rescue when that Phantom Sith first came into my room and scared the dark side outa all of us girls. So I took a deep breath and looked back at the floor.

I looked up after I had inwardly corrected my heart and saw Master Cinn looking at me. He smiled and said to me...

"Belda, little Belda... I did not mean to cause you offence, trust me. But Your Master was the last one seen with Jedi Samantha Harris, we must look at everyone as a suspect. Though If I remember correctly, Jedi Harris was never nice to your Master. I know your Master would not strike anyone down, she was always one of my best pupils. Would you know of who it might have been?"

I had a blank surprised stare on my face. He spoke to me, and it wasn't in a harsh fashion neither... wow... I looked at my Master then Master Cin, I thought about what he said and shook my head no. To be honest this was very much a mystery. I looked at Master Windu. Sometimes I could sense like he could if he wanted to stare right through you. This I found to be most uncomfotable at best anoying.

Master Cin nodded in responce to my answer. He looked over at Master Windu and both decided to leave. I looked up and realized that my Master was speaking with Master Skywalker. I truelly adored Him. I thought the Sun litterly rose and set on Him. *sigh*

I then decided it was best that my Master needed some rest so I exited and went down the hall. I couldn't help notice something was definately different about my Master. She seemed different. And what was the talk of Mara and Tai, who are they? No record of them being at the Temple... I knew better than to question my Master, but I felt she was the only one who could answer me. I sometimes felt alone and left out. Why am I feeling like this? I knew where I stood amongst my peers. There is no real reason to question my Masters doings, is there?

I continued to walk down the halls and to my room. I felt alone, truelly alone. I did the best I could to shake the feeling of lonelyness off of me and go to bed. I couldnt sleep, all I could do was cry. So I layed there crying softly into my pillows. No one would know, and I doubt anyone would even care. I cried myself to sleep.

TBC...

I wanted to thank everyone for stopping by and taking the time out of your busy lives to read my blog stories.

Lisette, Gar-Gar come to the rescue and the truth about my feelings

Okies here it is... I had finially convinced both GarGar and Lisette to guard me it was easire than I imagined. All I had to do was ask them and offer them some food in exchange.

So I laid out some food for both of them. Gar-Gar watched me for the first part of the night then Lisette came in till I woke up in the morning.

I was happy for once I was able to get some peaceful sleep. No Sith spirits would dare come around with GarGar and Lisette there guarding me like this.

We made an aggreement that both of them would do this until my Master returned. In truth although I loved being at the Temple I really missed being at my Master's side. But as it was most likely I'd end up in the way or something like that. Not to mention I'm sure there'd be missions I'd have to go on that I'm sure I'd rather be back at the Temple.

Sometimes days would seem like years when my Master was away. But I guess something all Jedi should learn in their life is patience. I just wish I was more patient than I was at times. I wondered if at times GarGar or Lisette could sense how I was feeling.

I know one time I actually got to missing my Master so much I actually cried myself to sleep. I dont think anyone heard or even cared. Because when I awoke no one was in there. I was still all alone accept for Lisette sleeping in her bed.

The next day I basically stood off to my self, only saying hi to those who said hi first. I stood in the dinning hall in the corner and watched as everyone passed by chatting, laughing, and the like. I found my self content to watch them all so I pulled up a chair and sat there for what seeemed like the entire day.

When I went to bed that night I told GarGar and Lisette all about it. I would've normally have told my Master all of what happened but as it was she wasnt here so now only GarGar and Lisette were here to hear about all the happenings.

I had to admit I was actually getting to enjoy their company at night. The nice thing about GarGar and Lisette was they never lectured me on hot to hold my saber or how and when to bow or how to address one of the DElder Jedi in the Temple, it was like I had found 2 new best friends within the Jedi Temple.

(sorry this ones a short one and it took me so long to post it, I have been very busy with rl stuff)

(oh BTW, Thank you my good friend Dark Jedi Kriss and my Master and good friend Phobia Deimos for letting me borrow GarGar and Lisette for this segment)

Chassing Dreams... Chassing Kitties

Well my Master Phobia and Master Godfrey left for another mission. I was told this mission wouldn't be safe for me so I was left behind. I didnt like the idea of being left behind at all.

The last time this happened an unknown Sith came into my room and well ruined things for me. I'll never forget how scared I felt being tormented by the Sith.

Not to mention I got into a heap of trouble with Master Cin over the whole ordeal. It wasn't like I had offered my room to this Sith and told him to invade the Temple. He was an unviated guest.

I was not about to let another uninviated guest show up in my room, so I decided to meditate and ask of the Force what to do. I didn't feel right asking anyone else for help.

I sat on the floor in a comfortable position as I was taught to do and began to meditate. As I did so I began to see many things, some of it I could understand, others I had no clue as to what they meant.

The one vision I saw was of a Jedi/Sith in Dark Clothing comming in covered in blood. He looked angry and like he wanted to kill more as if he had no remorse for his deeds.

Another vision I got was of Catia and Marisha comming into the Temple and reaking havic. They were also accompied by this Jedi/Sith. All three of them leaving death in their wake!

Yet another vision I saw was a Jedi in white fighting the Jedi/Sith, great waves of love surrounded the Jedi in white.

All these visions kinda scared me... I knew something was about to happen and very soon. There had to be something I could do.... Anything!

I began to cry for all the things I had seen. I must have cried half of the day because I haddent noticed the time. I had become hungry... So I got up, dryed my eyes and went to the dinning area.

As usual the dinning area was filled with other Jedi like myself. Some were more advanced than me, others were at my level. I went to the line for where we go to get our food and waited.

As I waited in line I saw my friends Sarrah and Lissa in line ahwead of me. They turned back and waved.

"Belda? When did you get back? Where's your Master?" Sarrah asked.

"We got back last night late. They went on a Mission and left me here." I said.

"Oooh... Did you know that there are Jedi who are missing?" Lissa chimed in.

I nodded yes.

"Come join us Belda?" Both Lissa and Sarrah said to me in unison as theygrabbed their trays and went towards the tables to sit and eat. I sometimes wondered if Lissa and Sarrah were actually releated? They often thought and even said things in unison.

"Okay, I will." I responded. I went up to the counter to see what was being served. It was a casarole dinner with what looked like it had noodles, beans and meat.

This wasn't my favorite dinner but at least it filled you up. I could tell NandeHi wasn't the cook today. NandeHi always made food taste much better.

I went to where Lissa and Sarrah was sitting. I always loved sitting amongst my friends. They made me laugh.

As we sat and ate a funny thought came into my head. The kind of thought that made many of the Jedi Masters including my own Master get nervious. "Tee-Hee" I laughed.

Lissa and Sarrah knew that when I had this look I was up to something or about to get into something. I thought it would be good to get one of the Temple cats to stay in my room for the night. All I needed was bait.

I thought of the many ways to bribe a cat into staying in my room with me. I made a silent pledge to take good care of the lucky kitty.

"Belda? Belda? HEY BELDA! WAKE UP!" Sarrah said.

"Huh?" I responded...

"Belda, what are you thinking of? We know that look... All too well!" Lissa said with a knowing look in her eyes.

"Uh well, I'll tell you in a minute when I work out the finnery and the details, then I'll let you in on my thoughts." Clearly by now I had definatelly I had learned how to block my thoughts from prying minds. *tee-hee*

I thought about my plan and pondered the plan on what was to happen. Then it was settled, I'd just go up to where the Kitties were and entice one of them to follow me. *tee-hee* As I worked out the finner detials my two friends became impatient with me and asked me again... "Belda, common tell us what your thinking?"

"Ok, I want one of the Temple Kitties to stay in my room with me until my Master and Master Godfrey returns." I said.

They both looked an me with blank faces and then looked at one another and said "huh?"

"Well, I happen to know that Marisha and Catia aren't too fond of kitties, and well i dont think the kitties are too fond of them either?" I said.

"Oooh..." They said.

"Is Marisha still plaugeing you Belda?" Lissa asked.

"Yes" I said.

"Oh this isn't good. Not good at all..." Sarrah said.

"Yeah, not good at all! Not one bit..." Lissa agreed.

"I will defeat her one day, she'll slip up and well, it'll be her end soon!" I said.

"Is Catia still trying to bug you? Your Master?" Sarrah asked.

I nodded yes. Catia was another problem in itself. How could I help my Master rid herself of this horrioble demon woman? Until my Master's free, she'll suffer much.

Right now I had to figure out which kitty I was gonna beg to stay with me for the durriation of the time my Master was away. I knew I couldn't just go over to them and pick them up and take them with me. This was a delicate process that had to be thought through carefully and percisely.

I looked at my two friends to see if they had an idea as to whick kitty I'd ask to help guard me and my room. Niether one seemed to have any ideas. I knew I had to do this on my own... I knew I couldnt tell anyone of the 3 dreams/visions I saw earlier to do such a thing would bring about chaos.


TBC....

(update, I am not sure if or when *I'm hoping it'll be very soon that I'll return* I'll be on line again because my internet is susposed to be cut off soon. Please keep me in your thoughts... I will miss you all dearly! Thank you for reading my blog. Please continue to stop by incase there be updates and I return... I will do the best I can to keep in touch with you all. Please take care and may the Force be with you all!)